I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
