Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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