if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
