I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you guys were way drunker than both of me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
