Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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