p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
