He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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