Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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