does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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