Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you would pick up someone in the library
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
