One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Congratulations! We have a period
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
