Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
