i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
