Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
