I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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