Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Let's paint friendship bongs
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
