...so i touched it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
