I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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