Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
