You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
