Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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