If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
there is glitter all over my balls
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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