Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
