The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
