The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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