Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
