Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
