Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
