Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
