he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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