woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
