have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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