take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
