she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
