at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
