Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
