just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
