I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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