Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
