The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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