That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
