speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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