She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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