There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
