So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize