do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
