Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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