You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
