sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
