My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
